REVIEW by Trish: You Suck: A Love Story by Christopher Moore

41FexEidb2LBeing undead sucks. Literally.

Just ask C. Thomas Flood. Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he’s ever experienced, he discovers that his girlfriend, Jody, is a vampire. And surprise! Now he’s one, too. For some couples, the whole biting-and-blood thing would have been a deal breaker. But Tommy and Jody are in love, and they vow to work through their issues.

But word has it that the vampire who initially nibbled on Jody wasn’t supposed to be recruiting. Even worse, Tommy’s erstwhile turkey-bowling pals are out to get him, at the urging of a blue-dyed Las Vegas call girl named (duh) Blue.

And that really sucks.


First off, I had no idea this was number 2 in a series, mostly because I found this on a shelf at the local Goodwill. The cover made me giggle, so I bought it. This weekend I finally had a chance to read this book, having not read any reviews or looked up the author beforehand, not my usual approach. Sometimes that’s a good thing. Had I looked this up and saw it was a number 2, and that number 1 and 3 were anywhere from eight to fourteen dollars as a kindle ebook (yikes!), I might have decided not to read it. Still, I did read this and found it to be absurd and in your face. The first few chapters were all it took to clue me in on this being a sequel (the cover didn’t indicate it was). Everyone already knew each other, and the backstory seemed a bit more like a rehash of a part 1.

Jody and Tommy are in love. Tommy’s buddies from book 1 have taken their ill gotten gains from the last adventure and run off to Las Vegas to squander them on a blue-dyed woman. And, the Emperor of San Fransisco, an insane homeless man whose loyal subjects are his little dogs, suspects the worst, that Jody has not only stayed in San Fransisco, but also turned Tommy into one of the undead.

Basically, this story is a mess, but entertaining. It’s not typical vampire romance, more of an irreverent poke at the worst of society. The story really gets interesting when Tommy and Jody realize they need a new minion, now that Tommy is also a vampire. What they get is a pair of emos, Abby and Jared, who jump at the chance of serving real nosferatu. I most enjoyed the absurdity of the situations portrayed in the book, particularly those that feature Abby and Jared and those told from Abby’s perspective. I also liked the cat, Chet.

As for the things I didn’t like, the story is, as I mentioned before, in your face. Perversion and violence are wielded with a generous hand for no other reason that to shock the reader into laughing. Sometimes it works, but man, it was hard for me to get through the first few chapters, because I didn’t have enough buy in to the characters and the story to really get the humor. I think most who give up on the story probably would do so early on, likely when the Animals make their appearance with Blue. I didn’t really start caring for any of the characters until Abby and Jared jumped into the fray. Abby made the whole thing worth it, though.

Overall, this is an entertaining read, but it might be a bit too much for some readers. The humor comes from a mix of innuendo, in your face perversion, and over the top characters. The volume and sort of sexual situations and violence makes this something I would not recommend for young readers, though adults in their 20s or so might find this right up their alley. For those who like a nice, romantic paranormal story with a happily ever after, this is probably not the book for you. So, who would I recommend it to? I think I would recommend this story to readers who like absurd stories that push the boundaries of the acceptable, who like vampires, but not the Twilight sort, and who like humor designed to get a laugh any way it can.

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The review copy of this title was purchased by the reviewer.

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